I have never seriously read one the Harry Potter books. Yet, with each new release excreted from the Raincoast Books/Scholastic Publishing factory, my contempt for this so-called "literature" still finds room to grow. While all the Muggles and whoozits scramble to big-box bookseller or movie mega-plex for the latest scrap of the Potter brand, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, I quietly rejoice in J.K. Rowling's promise that this will be the final dispatch from Hogwart's Academy.
Why don't I feel the Harry Potter magic? Having skimmed through enough of the material and read enough reviews, it's easy to draw the conclusion that Harry Potter is the most self-indulgent, patronizing, smothering crap that's ever been put to print. I can't see how the series is supposed to get "darker" as it goes along when reviewers consistently point out J.K. Rowling's "love of children" and "the value of friendship". Maybe it's my Gen-X cynicism showing, but I have issues about grief counsellors being put on standby for Potter readers. There was no grief counselling when Gwen Stacy was killed in the pages of The Amazing Spider-Man. There was no grief counselling when Bambi's Mom was shot. There was no grief counselling when Maude Flanders fell off the grandstand at the Springfield Speedway.
There is counselling, coddling, and comforting for Harry Potter fans, because Harry Potter is the kid-lit brand of choice for spoiled, upper middle class trend-mongering brats and their idiot overprotective hyper-braded yuppie parents who are loathe to do any actual parenting. How many times have we heard "Harry Potter turns kids on to reading!" Do you know what turned me on to reading? READING: Mark Twain, Ray Bradbury, Arthur Conan Doyle, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Jules Verne, Agatha Christie, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby - a little variety instead of the stamping readers' heads with the same brand repeatedly. Can these kids who've been "turned on to reading" name any other books they've read that don't involve juvenile wizards or standing in front of a Chapters in the middle of the night?
Most pop culture phenomena in our day and age have a sense of irony or camp (and openness to criticism) about them which makes them palatable (See: Star Wars, Episodes I & II). The world of Harry Potter, however, is a closed world where no one dares criticize the sacred texts of Rowling for fear that they will be forever cursed. Hogwarts is locked down by the scavenging lawyers of Raincoast/Scholastic, who go out of their way to bully anyone engaged in speculation about upcoming Potter books, for fear they might be casting "spoilers" among the true believers. Anyone here see Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan? Why did you go see it? I went because I heard Spock was going to die!
Of course, much of this will is hypocrisy, given that I've read pretty much everything with the name "John Grisham" on it. However, I don't see myself being stuffed into the back of a van if I give away the verdict in the final chapter, or if I write my own story about southern-fried attorneys up against impossible odds.
Rowling should be Happy she is not on welfare & Mega rich. Some people just never get the big picture.
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