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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

CREST with SCOPE Extreme? This is a DUI Looking to Happen

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Now that the excitement over Coca Cola Blak is over it’s time to clean up our teeth and get drunk in the process.

Crest Whitening Plus Scope Extreme.

That’s right, not only are you getting Crest with Scope built in, but you are getting Crest with 50% more Scope in the bottle. There I was, in Wal Mart browsing the tooth paste isle looking for something to replace my current almost empty tube of Aquafresh, it was an exciting time. I was dressed up in short pants and a crappy t-shirt, the only goal for the evening was to get some new tooth paste. I thought I had found some when I came across the Crest with Scope but then I turned around and there it was, Crest with 50% more Scope. I looked at the box in my hand and it was pathetic. Why would I want 50% less Scope when I could have more? My mind was made up. I was going to be extreme and there was nothing anyone could do to stop me.

When I came home I looked over the box and noticed that not only did this toothpaste have 50% more Scope than all other toothpastes, but it was also rated as being almost 2 proof. Sure, it might be a far cry away from the 80 proof Jagermeister that we all love, but that 2 proof was much higher than my other toothpaste, it was that little pick me up that I need so badly each morning. With enough of this stuff I might be able to finally forget about my problems and enjoy life.

So does it work? Does the 50% more Scope really make that much of a difference? Will this stuff replace my morning drink and evening night cap? Would the extreme mint explosion be so powerful that my mouth will be left in awe of the awesome power that it just had in it?

Unfortunately the answer to most of those questions is a big olde NO. Does it work? I suppose so, but no better than any other toothpaste. Does the Scope and all of its 50% more goodness make a difference over other less Scope-y toothpastes? Nope, it’s fresh and all but nothing to get excited about. 2 proof? Sadly I also read on the box that you are not supposed to swallow any of it, that ruins everything. Mint explosion for the win? Not realy, it was hardly a little pop, not the explosion I was hoping for. Heck, I even tried brushing my teeth to see if the 50% more Scope could get me 50% more kisses from my wife. Nope. Didn’t work either. My wife just looked at me funny and walked away.

3 thumbs down. It’s toothpaste and it has a strong flavor, maybe a bit more so than others but nothing too mind blowing. It’s better than my last toothpaste but it’s not shocking enough to make you say “Holy crap, that’s some good toothpaste.”

Maybe we can sell it to Canadians!