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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

New Birds EYE Product has the GIANT Worried

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The bag you are holding is special. Yuppers that is just what it says on the bag. My mom always told me I was a special kid and now I have proof.

Birds Eye Steamfresh, Broccoli edition.

Let me set up the scene for you. There I was in the gym a few weeks, a hot body of manly flesh, sweating away the pounds, sculpting myself into the thing of beauty that I stand tall as every morning. During the session I glanced up at the TV and commercial for this wonderful new product and knew that I had to have it. Broccoli from a bag? Brilliant! Broccoli from a bag that can be made right in the microwave? Brilliant! What will people come up with next?

So what is this stuff, anyway? Well, it seems that the brains in the Birds Eye laboratories have reversed engineered the alien technology behind microwave popcorn and applied it to vegetables. No longer are we forced to use a steamer in order to get our veggies to a nice crispy steamed state, we can now catapult ourselves into the 21st century and use our microwave ovens. How amazing is that? Quite frankly, I believe this might be the penultimate way to cook, second only to maybe the rice cooker or a pit of fire that us men use to cook blood dripping meat.

Easy to cook?

Brilliant!

According to the bag all I needed to do was put it in the microwave, turn it on for 5 minutes, and then Pick up hereĀ”, in order to get myself some broccoli goodness. So I did just that. The bag puffed up while it was in there, I think I was able to hear some steam escaping while it was cooking. In only a 12th of an hour the microwave beeped. I followed what the bag told me and grabbed the edges, tore at the place the bag told me to, and dumped it onto my plate.

Brilliant!

So how did it taste? Was it as good as the bag promised me it would be? Yes sir, it did. It was crispy, tasted good, and was nice and green. I checked the package to see if maybe it contained chemicals or other non broccoli things in order to get it the way it is. Just broccoli.

Brilliant!

Our man Bob the couch guy would love this stuff, no work required. It would also be great for people in a dorm room with only a microfridge to feed themselves with. It might be a bit pricier than buying it fresh but it will last you longer and is perfect for a quick meal.

I honor this stuff with the Mikey D Holy Grail Cup. No complaints, nothing added. It does exactly what it promises to do. So you can have a bunch of choices in steamed veggie goodness.

I wonder how long it will take before the company decides to add something to extend the products shelf life?

Back to the fields. My boss the giant is trying to think of something to top this one.

That's all for now.